25+ Unique Memorial Service Ideas to Try | Cake Blog (2024)

Did you recently lose a loved one? If so, you may want to start planning a memorial service. A memorial service excludes the body of the deceased but may include their cremated remains.

When tackling this task, you might want to consider the alternatives to a traditional memorial service. There are a number of reasons for contemplating such a step. For example, you may find the traditional options provided by funeral homes too costly for your budget. You may also want to honor a unique or unusual memorial request made by your deceased loved one.

Jump ahead to these sections:

• Ideas for Memorial Service Locations
  
• Memorial Service Decoration Ideas
• Fun or Lighthearted Memorial Service Ideas
• Memorial Service Activity Ideas For Guests
• Memorial Service Ideas for Mom or Grandma
  
• Memorial Service Ideas for Dad or Grandpa
  
• Memorial Service Ideas for Child or Baby
  
• Virtual or Digital Memorial Service Ideas
• Memorial Service Ideas for a Dog, Cat, or Other Pet
  
• Memorial Service Ideas for Another Loved One
• Memorial Service Keepsake or Favor Ideas

Still, when you’re experiencing deep grief, it can be hard to think outside the box. Maybe you’ve heard about alternative memorial services or the unusual traditions around the world—but you might only know about some of the most popular alternatives. Playing contemporary funeral songs during the ceremony is one such option, as is calling the service a celebration of life.Those are both great choices, but there are many others to consider.

To help spark your imagination, here are some unique memorial service ideas we’ve put together at Cake. Maybe one will speak to you.

Tip:If you're planning aZoom memorial serviceusing a service likeGatheringUs, the order of service, etiquette, and timing will vary. Consult with the funeral director, event planner, or religious leader to see what changes will be made to the ceremony, wake, and reception. Make sure to add the proper links, passcodes, online funeral etiquette, and troubleshooting instructions to your online guests at least a day or two before the funeral.

Ideas for Memorial Service Locations

Before you plan a memorial service at an alternative location, think about who will attend and how they’ll react to something less traditional. As the person planning the service, the ultimate choice of location is yours. But remember that others will be mourning the loss, too.

You’ll also want to make sure you are honoring the wishes of the deceased. It can be easy to let any hang-ups you may have about organized religion get in the way of planning a service at a church, temple, or synagogue. If you know the deceased practiced a religion, you should try to honor that—the same can be said for people who weren’t religious.

If your loved one wanted an alternative memorial, feel free to choose a unique location that fits their wishes. Here are some places to consider.

Beach

Many people feel a spiritual connection to the ocean. Its constant movement and timelessness can make our lives feel insignificant. And, for those who grew up near the beach, it can bring back comforting, warm childhood memories filled with laughter and sun.

Although a beach would be a lovely setting for a memorial service, they’re usually public places. As a result, you may find it hard to create the kind of atmosphere that suits the occasion. Also, be sure to check with the local park services before scattering your loved one’s remains. Some states and cities have strict rules about the scattering of ashes.

At home

Some people choose to have memorial services in their homes. This was standard practice at earlier points in human history — and it’s starting to become commonplace again in some communities. Some may like the idea of saying goodbye in such a comforting place.

At a farm

Perhaps your loved one had rural roots and wished to celebrate their life on the family farm. No matter the time of the year, most farms would provide a beautiful backdrop to celebrate the life of a loved one.

If you own a farm, you could consider burying your loved one on the property — most states allow for home burials. This may be something to think about if you’re sure that the land will stay in the family for generations. But make sure you review the laws for your area first.

You can hold your memorial service before or after the burial takes place. You can also hold one on your farm after burying your loved one someplace else.

At a campground

Gather friends and family at a campground or national park to celebrate the life of your loved one.

This would be an appropriate choice to celebrate someone who was an avid camper or outdoor enthusiast. Just keep in mind that you won’t be able to control the behavior of the public around you. Still, you’ll likely find a peaceful space to reflect in, even if it’s only for a few minutes.

At a sports stadium

Having a memorial service at a sports stadium might be a tricky process. Some states do not have restrictions on where you can scatter ashes. But most stadiums are privately owned, and they would probably prefer that remains aren't spread on the playing fields.

Of course, no one would stop you from attending a game. Invite friends and family of the deceased to attend one together. It can be a great way to honor the deceased,although there’s no guarantee that your favorite team will win.

At a local bar or coffee shop

Perhaps you want to celebrate your loved one’s life somewhere “where everybody knew their name.” Why not ask the owner of your local establishment if you can have a memorial service at their business? You can sip on their favorite beverage, play some uplifting memorial service songs, sit back, and reminisce about your loved one.

Remember that you should expect to pay the owner for the use of the facility, especially if you’re renting the entire space.

Do you want your funeral to be a traditional funeral service or a memorial service?

Memorial Service Decoration Ideas

Typically, there aren’t very many decorations at memorial services. However, if you feel that it is necessary to decorate the space, consider the tone of the service so that the decorations match. Here are some ideas.

Flowers

Many people purchase a standing spray of flowers for their loved one’s memorial service, but you don’t have to stop there. You might want to add arrangements on each of the tables at the reception or place some greenery around the photo displays.

While some people choose monochromatic floral displays such as white lilies, roses, and chrysanthemums, others may display multi-colored arrangements of their loved one’s favorite flowers.

If the deceased was known for their gardening skills, and flowers are in bloom at the time of death, consider creating the arrangements from cuttings from their flowerbeds.

Candles

Create a beautiful and reflective atmosphere at your loved one’s memorial service by lighting white candles throughout the space. You can purchase memorial candle holders online that can be personalized with your loved one’s name. In addition, the candle holders can act as keepsakes.

Signs or banners

If the memorial service is in an alternative space, consider printing a sign or banner so people know they have arrived at the correct gathering. The sign or banner may say, “In Loving Memory” and include the name and image of the deceased.

Photographs

While you can certainly create a memorial service slideshow or stick favorite pictures on a poster board, you might look online for more elaborate display ideas.

Many people also choose to have a large photograph of their loved one on an easel as a focal point of the service

Decorations related to your loved one’s interests or hobbies

Was your loved one an avid golfer? Check with your florist about ways to add clubs or tees to the floral displays.

Was the deceased a huge fan of a particular team? Consider using the team colors throughout your decor.

Add wheat to the floral display for a farmer or teacher-themed items to the decor of someone who spent their life in the classroom.

Some funeral homes specialize in creating personalized memorial services, so ask the employees for assistance in decorating the space.

Fun or Lighthearted Memorial Service Ideas

The words “fun” and “lighthearted” aren’t always used to describe memorial services. Trying to create a party-type atmosphere may leave the attendees feeling unsettled or uncomfortable.

However, some people leave instructions asking that their services be lighthearted affairs. Others simply lived their lives in such a way that a somber memorial would not feel appropriate.

Here are some ideas on how to lighten up a memorial service if the situation warrants it.

Hold the funeral itself at an alternative location

One way to change the feel of an end-of-life service is to hold it at a location other than a funeral home, house of worship, or cemetery. Consider, instead, a park or outdoor location, a private residence, a community venue, or a restaurant.

Encourage attendees to participate

Instead of having a formal service to celebrate the life of your loved one, consider asking attendees to participate in the service. Spread the word that anyone who feels comfortable will be given the opportunity to sing a song, share a memory, or read a piece of scripture or a poem.

Have a New Orleans jazz-style memorial service

New Orleans jazz funerals start as somber affairs. The music played on the way to the entombment or burial location is often slow and melancholy. However, once the deceased has been settled in their final resting place, the music style changes, and the party begins.

Select upbeat music

Memorial service music doesn’t have to be slow or somber-sounding. Instead, consider selecting more upbeat music (either religious or secular) for your loved one’s funeral.

Incorporate an activity with the event

Did your loved one play board games or golf? Did they love spending a day at a ball game or a night at a rock concert?

To conclude a more traditional memorial service, you may want to plan an outing for the guests. For example, set up a card tournament or buy out a section at a concert. Chances are, you and your guests will enjoy celebrating your loved one’s life by participating in their favorite activities.

Toast your loved one

If you’re having a reception, meal, or repast following your loved one’s services, consider organizing a toast for the deceased.

Memorial Service Activity Ideas For Guests

Memorial services are sometimes not interactive events. However, you may wish to give those attending the opportunity to share memories of the deceased or to participate in an activity your loved one enjoyed.

Here are some activity ideas to consider.

Release butterflies

If your loved one’s service takes place in an appropriate climate, consider organizing a butterfly release to conclude it. This is a more eco-friendly version of the balloon releases that were popular in past decades. In addition, some funeral homes will arrange a butterfly release for you. Keep in mind that there may be regulations in your state that affect which types of butterflies you can release or even if you can release any at all.

Schedule performances

If music, poetry, or dance was important to the deceased, ask friends or family members to perform at the memorial service. They may feel honored to be asked to celebrate this important part of your loved one’s life.

Create a social media account

Even though it’s relatively common for memorial service attendees to be given opportunities to speak, some of your guests may fear doing so in person. Give those people a chance to share stories and memories of the deceased by creating an online forum.

Many funeral homes create tribute pages for each of the families who utilize their services. You could share the tribute page on your social media pages and ask people to upload photos and share stories. Of course, you could also create a memorial Facebook group if you wish for a more private sharing opportunity.

Create an art station for the children

If you know that there will be a lot of children in attendance, you might consider setting up a staffed “kid room” during your loved one’s service. If the children knew the deceased, you might encourage them to draw pictures of the memories they shared with your loved one.

Collect items for a charity

Did your loved one have a special place in their heart for a specific nonprofit group? Instead of asking for monetary memorial contributions, ask for attendees to bring specific items to donate to a charity. For example, ask for nonperishable food, health and hygiene items, pet supplies, school supplies, or books. Make sure you have a plan for how to store and transport these items if the funeral home is not equipped to handle such a request.

Memorial Service Ideas for Mom or Grandma

How do you say goodbye to a mother or grandmother? It will probably be one of the hardest things you ever have to do. Here are some alternatives to consider instead of a regular memorial service.

Gather for a special meal

Many mourners gather for a meal when saying goodbye to friends and family. Why not make something special of it? Set up long tables in someone’s backyard or garden.

Decorate the table with cherished possessions of the family member you lost. Ask guests to bring a token or a dish that represents the deceased. As you dine, go around the table and have everyone share a favorite memory of your mom or grandma.

Celebrate her life in her garden

Did your loved one spend a great deal of time in her garden? Consider having a memorial service in that space. Mourning near her favorite bushes, perennials, and annuals can help you grieve. Plus, celebrating her life in a spot that she cherished is a wonderful way to honor her.

Plant a tree

Consider celebrating the life of a loved one by planting a tree.

You can approach this in two ways. First, you could dig the hole during the ceremony and even sprinkle the deceased’s ashes at the base before putting dirt around the new tree.

Or you could have someone plant the tree before you arrive. Then have each attendee take a turn watering the tree with a watering can — just don’t overwater it! You can also have guests share their favorite memories instead of watering the tree.

Be aware that if you want to plant the tree in a park, you’ll probably need to get permission from local officials first.

Memorial Service Ideas for Dad or Grandpa

Saying goodbye to Dad or Grandpa is something people dread to do. Make his passing easier by choosing a memorial service that fits his personality.

Gather at the clubhouse

If your dad or grandpa was an avid golfer, host the memorial service at his favorite golf course. See if you can rent out the clubhouse. Or ask if you can sprinkle his ashes under that tricky tree located near the 17th hole. If you can’t do either, play a round in his honor.

Take a ride on grandpa’s boat

Does thinking of your grandpa lead to memories of early mornings in a boat? If his happy place always involved a fishing pole, celebrate this by gathering at the dock.

You may consider sprinkling the ashes near his favorite fishing spot. Or you could take a family fishing trip to his favorite place. Use the time to reminisce about everything your Grandpa meant to you. And maybe you’ll catch a fish too.

Surround yourself with your dad’s favorite possessions

If your dad was an avid collector, consider having his memorial service at the site of his collection. You can display the items in a unique way to share. Make sure to share your dad’s passion with everyone that way. Plus, it’ll likely be easier than moving the collection to a funeral home.

Memorial Service Ideas for Child or Baby

Nothing is easy about losing a child or baby. There’s no right or wrong way to say goodbye. Whether the service is private or open to the public is up to the parents. Here are some ideas to consider.

Do a butterfly release

Ask your friends and family members to gather. Spend some time reflecting on the life of the child. Listen to some music, and have someone lead the group in prayers or final words. Before dispersing, give everyone an envelope with a butterfly inside. Ask everyone to open the envelope at the same time. You’ll be surrounded by butterflies taking flight.

Those who take part will forever associate the child with butterflies. The child’s memory will be honored through that connection.

Organize a project in your child’s honor

Ask your friends and family members to complete a project in the name of your child. Perhaps you’ll create a fairy garden at a local park. Or a little free library outside of your home. Place a commemorative plaque at the location. It will honor your child, and it lets those who visit know how important this space is.

Share a token

There’s a special kind of grieving involved when a life ends too soon. More than anything else, parents want others to remember the life of their child. Consider sharing a token with friends, family, and even your child's schoolmates.

You don’t have to give away your child’s possessions to do this. Buy something you can give to everyone as a token of remembrance. A rock shaped like a heart or a special bracelet can be a meaningful, simple gift.

Virtual or Digital Memorial Service Ideas

One of the things that the recent pandemic taught us is that online events are reasonable options when you can’t meet in person. The funeral industry had to adjust to this reality quickly, and many funeral homes and churches upgraded or added technology to make it possible to share events online.

Virtual memorial services are probably always going to be an option for families. Now, members of the military who couldn’t get leave to attend an uncle’s funeral may be able to view the service in real time from their current location. Older family members who find it hard to travel may be able to attend a Zoom funeral of their sibling who died across the country.

Hire a virtualplanning service to coordinate the event

Options for a virtual memorial service range from Facetiming your cousin during the service to full-scale productions that include slideshows, interviews, and superb video and sound.

If you know that most of your guests will be attending your event virtually, consider hiring a company similar to GatheringUs. This organization offers planning, facilitation, and a complete custom virtual funeral experience.

Create an online memorial site

One thing that’s missing when you attend a virtual memorial service as opposed to a live event is a chance to peruse the memory boards that families typically display. If you are planning a virtual service, consider spending more time creating your online memorial site.

Your memorial site can be a Facebook page, a link provided by your funeral home or cremation provider, or an actual website designed for the specific purpose of sharing memories of the deceased.

We recommend using Cake's online memorial pages, which are simple and easy to set up. They let your page visitors leave meaningful tributes to the departed, as well as fundraise if that's something you'd like to do.

Share music

Make your virtual attendees feel as though they are part of the group by giving them the ability to share their musical talents. For example, your uncle who lives on the opposite coast may want to sing at your mom’s funeral. Also, you can encourage those virtually attending the event to turn on their microphones to sing along with the hymns with the rest of the live guests.

Share downloadable programs

Many people keep memorial service folders and programs as mementos. Unfortunately, your virtual guests won’t have the opportunity to collect these pieces of memorabilia. At a minimum, consider providing a downloadable version for virtual attendees. You may also want to mail a copy to your online guests.

Assist those who may struggle with technology

Don’t assume that every online attendee will have attended a Zoom event previous to the funeral you are planning. Older adults who were not brought up with technology may struggle to participate in the event.

You don’t want to be on the phone with your great aunt during your dad’s service, walking her through how to join the virtual event. Instead, you may consider having a trial run for those you think may have difficulty connecting. You might also have funeral home or church staff members on hand to assist virtual attendees over the phone who are struggling with the technology.

Memorial Service Ideas for a Dog, Cat, or Other Pet

Losing a pet is devastating for many. How do you say goodbye to a pet when you're reminded of their absence every time you enter your home? Here are some ideas to consider.

Host a poetry reading

Others in your community might also be grieving the loss of a favorite dog, cat, or other pet. Consider hosting a poetry reading. People can bring photos of their deceased pet. Everyone can share a poem, song lyrics, or some other text that describes their loss.

Raise funds for a shelter

At some point, you may want to commemorate the passing of your furry friend by helping others. Although your grief may be too fresh to undertake a project immediately, you can do this anytime. When you’re ready, you could host a fundraiser. Or gather supplies to donate to your favorite local pet charity. Name the event after your pet that passed.

Donate a pet watering station

Ask local officials how much it would cost to add a pet watering station to your local dog park. Most of the time, these can be added to any drinking fountain. Don’t forget to ask if you can also add a memorial plaque near the site. Others will know you donated the watering station in honor of your dog.

Memorial Service Ideas for Another Loved One

It can be hard to know how to celebrate the life of someone who was an important person in your community. Consider using these ideas. It can help you to share your grief.

Create a scholarship

Teachers and school administrators touch so many lives. Honor them by funding the education of future teachers in your community. Create a fundraiser or ask for donations to create a scholarship in the deceased’s name. Administrators at your local high school should be able to help you set up a scholarship.

Publish a book

If you are trying to think of a way to commemorate the life of a great person, why not write about their life? Interview friends and family members. Ask others to recall their favorite stories. Include photographs and self-publish a book online.

Everyday heroes deserve commemoration. Share the story of your favorite person in the community to inspire others to live full lives.

Host a concert

Perhaps you are organizing an event for a music lover, performer, or music teacher. If so, you could invite friends, students, and cohorts to perform pieces in memory of your friend.This can be a fundraiser for a charity or just a personal commemorative event.

Memorial Service Keepsake or Favor Ideas

Do you wish to give each memorial service attendee a small keepsake to celebrate your loved one’s life? Here are some ideas. The funeral home staff may offer assistance with ordering and/or distributing the items.

Recipes

Was the deceased known for their cooking or baking skills? Pass out a copy of a favorite recipe (or group of recipes) at the service. This can be an especially good idea if the deceased is known for one particular dish.

Seeds

Search online for a company that will create a personalized seed packet with your loved one’s name and an appropriate poem or scripture. While forget-me-not seeds are a popular choice, you could also pass out the seeds to a flower that your loved one was known for growing.

Succulents

Succulents are popular, inexpensive, and easy to grow. Add a tag that includes the name or photo of your loved one, and others will think of them every time they care for the plant.

Awareness bracelets

Some families choose to pass out awareness bracelets at their loved one’s memorial services. Bracelets of a particular color are assigned to many different kinds of cancer. You can also highlight other illnesses and causes of death.

Flowers

Ask the memorial service officiant to announce that each person in attendance is welcome to take a flower from one of the arrangements. This is a simple, beautiful keepsake that can be dried and kept for years.

Prayer cards

Many families pass out prayer cards at their loved one’s memorial services. These are typically personalized with the deceased’s name and include a short scripture, poem, or prayer important to the family. Many funeral homes will arrange for prayer cards to be printed.

Bookmarks

Was your loved one an avid reader? This simple and inexpensive keepsake would be appropriate to share with funeral attendees. Include a photo, favorite quote, or list of favorite books on the bookmark. Some funeral homes will arrange for memorial bookmarks to be printed.

Ornament

Consider creating or purchasing an ornament to celebrate your loved one’s life. Butterflies, doves, hearts, feathers, wings, and religious symbols are typically used in such situations.

A Memorial Your Loved One Wanted

People handle grief differently. A traditional memorial service may help ease the pain of some people. Others need to manage their grief differently.

It’s important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to observe a loved one’s passing. Hopefully, some of these ideas will help you plan a memorial service for someone close to you.

Sources:

1. "Funeral Service 101." National Funeral Directors Association. https://nfda.org/news/funeral-service-101.

2. "Your Guide to a Backyard Burial." Green Burial Council. July 25, 2022. https://www.greenburialcouncil.org/green_burial_council_blog/your-guide-to-a-backyard-burial.